That even if you want to be pregnant and have actively been trying to get pregnant, there will still be a moment when you look at the positive test and think “Holy SHIT! I’m pregnant!” and your knees will go weak and you’ll panic a bit.
That my body, which has failed me so much and so often in the past, can conceive, carry to term and nourish a child. Not effortlessly, by any stretch of the imagination, but it worked, and it is continuing to work, and this astonishes me daily.
That really good friends can be found in places you don’t expect, and that people you thought were friends can disappear from your life with very little warning.
That everything washes.
That making pastry isn’t as scary as it seems.
That there’s a very good reason that pregnancy takes so damn long, and even then, it isn’t nearly long enough to adjust to the culture shock that is being a first-time parent.
That quality really is better than quantity in almost everything.
On Thursday 6th October at 9.57am, our son was born by emergency caesarean section weighing 4kg (8lbs 14oz) and measuring 54cm (21.25″) long.
We spent a few days in hospital while I recovered enough to be allowed home. Being able to get up, get dressed and hug my baby was a very good day.
The first day at home, together, as a family, was even better.
Though I’m exhausted from lack of sleep and still recovering from surgery, each day brings a new joy and though I know there will be challenges ahead, I can’t help but feel that the best days are yet to come.
The lovely Natalie at The Yarn Yard started a bloggy thing called “Making Monday” a couple of weeks ago, to encourage folk to share what they make. I wanted to join in before, but various things have got in my way.
This week, however, I actually managed to make stuff, despite the best attempts of my physiology to get in the way.
Yesterday, I finished making a hat that I started (for the first time) several weeks ago, and screwed up several times, before finally getting it near enough right. It’s for the first of the babies born to our antenatal group, and it felt like a huge achievement to finally get it done.
The Pattern is Poppy by Justine Turner (Ravelry Link – requires login), and it charms me so much I have no problem with the idea of repeating it several times, in different colourways, for several babies.
Today, breaking from the (recent) norm, was a good day. Not brilliant, but better than I’ve had in a couple of weeks, and it was very welcome.
Today, I madefinished two things.
I made pizza, using a chunk more of the home-made pizza dough (Jamie Oliver’s recipe) that I made a couple of weeks ago. It was really good.
I also managed to start and finish another hat. I’m now only one hat behind for the antenatal group. Hopefully, I should be able to finish the third before Saturday, when I’ll hopefully get to see everyone (and the newest addition to the group) and hand them over.
Mostly, however, I’ve been working on something much bigger.
Mostly, today, I’ve been working on growing a person.
Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.
So beautiful, I had to share.
I can’t believe another year has passed. I don’t know where the time goes. It rushes past so quickly I almost can’t keep up.
This last year has been crazy. Work has been insane. More challenging than I could ever imagine, but for all the grey hairs (your estimates were a little off – I’m not totally grey yet but probably will be by the time I hit 40) and stress it’s been an incredible year. As I write this I’m sitting in a hotel room in Denver, looking out to the Rocky Mountains and listening to John Denver (because you have to, really). It’s a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining brightly and it’s warm enough to be midsummer, but I can still see snow on the mountains. I’m here for a work conference and really enjoying it. I’m lucky to get such opportunities.
I’ve been married for almost five months now. It was an amazing day. The happiest in my life up to that point. We had a beautiful ceremony and an epic party afterwards and for all that it was wonderful, you were missed and never far from my mind.
Then, in January this year, when I thought that I couldn’t be any luckier, I found out that I’m pregnant. We don’t know whether it’s a boy or a girl yet, but I’m looking forward to meeting this wee person currently growing inside me. I’m sad that you aren’t here to share this experience with me, or to meet your second grandchild. You would have made a fantastic grandfather.
But, sad as I am that you won’t be around to see them, your influence on me will filter down I’m sure. I can see many trips to museums (and by extension, cups of tea) and I’ll try to remember to drop the newspaper before charging into the sea after a child chasing a beach ball.
I love you Dad, and I still miss you.
Ann