7 October 2005
The universe loves balance.
Colleague: Wow, you've really lost a lot of weight recently...
Me: *cough, splutter* Oh I wish.
Colleague: Really? I could have sworn you had - meant to say to you earlier this week
Me: Trust me, I really haven't. Must be a trick of the light, or a side effect from too many lazy weekends at home watching UKTV Style and I've been Trinny and Susannah'd by osmosis.
Colleague: Well either way, you look a lot slimmer.
Me: Excellent. Thank you. *smiles and stands a bit straighter*
[ten minutes later in the canteen]
Me: Fish and chips please.
Guy behind the counter: Certainly. Would you like peas and tomatoes?
Me: No thanks, just the fish and chips.
GBTC: *puts fish in takeaway container*
Me: *waits patiently*
GBTC: *places two tongfuls of chips in container alongside fish, goes to put third in, looks up, looks me up and down, puts tongful of chips back in serving dish and closes takeaway container*
Me: *huh.*
Laugh.
Oh, but you have this completely the wrong way around. He was assessing your general size to ascertain whether you were the sort to *want* another tongful of chippage, not whether you could *afford* it. So he clearly thought you were so slim, you'd never go that way; hence, it's still a compliment. Trust me. (Trust my ego-preserving interpretive skills.)
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