8 December 2004
Forgive me, reader, for I have sinned.
It has been 12 days since my last post, and significantly longer since I posted anything of personal substance.
It's not that nothing has happened of note, it's more that a lot of stuff has been happening and I've been struggling to find a way to write about it. I did think about creating some sort of graph of the ups and downs of the last year, but then I realised I might be able to make some money out of selling it to the people at Alton Towers as an idea for a new rollercoaster.
In thinking about it, I'm not sure there's an element of my life which has remained unaffected by the tidal wave of change which has swept through, laying waste to my fledgling plans for the year.
To say it's been an eventful year is both a gross over-simplification and a staggering understatement. I've not only experienced some of the lowest lows in my life, but also some of the highest highs, and if you'd told me a year ago that I'd be right here, right now, I'd have thought you were crazy...
... and yet, here I am, with the last pieces in the jigsaw of change being flipped over. I'm still me, but the picture that's showing is fundamentally different.
My family have changed. Perhaps not as much as some of the other aspects of my life, but things move on. My wee sister has now added "home owner" to "being married" and "moving away from home" in the list of things she's done first. My mum's health continues to decline and cause me worry, and there will no longer be two furry faces greeting me at the door when I go home.
My home has changed. Next week will bring the four-month anniversary of one of the biggest changes to my life this year. The date I moved out of the flat I'd shared with D. Not only is it a lovely flat, with a lovelier flatmate/landlady, but it feels like home. It's comfortable, it's in a lovely area, and it's the first place I've lived where I got to make all the decisions. I chose this place. I decided what I wanted and got more than I could ever have hoped for. I would have settled for a reasonable room in a structurally sound building and polite flatmates. What I got was a home and a good friend.
Along with the new flat and new area came a new smile, something I've cryptically referred to a few times over the last few months. It's difficult to find the words, but I've been spending rather a lot of time with someone. A male someone. There's been snogging and hand-holding, walking and talking, laughter and tears, romance and lust, late nights and early mornings, phone calls and text messages, London and NotLondon, breakfasts and dinners, lunches and brunches, sickness and health, red wine and port, bourbon and scotch, West Wing and crappy telly, geekery and photography, inspiration, motivation, support and acceptance... and it feels good.
... and those changes have triggered other important changes.
Firstly, after months of dithering, I finally got my act together and took the first baby step along the road to doing something serious about making money from my photography. At the beginning of November, I submitted a test CD to a stock photography library, and am delighted to have been accepted as a contributor. Next step - actually selling something.
Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I swallowed my fear of failure and when one of my colleagues left, applied for her job. On Friday, after what felt like the longest week of my life, when all my self doubt and insecurity threatened to swallow me whole, I got the answer.
I got the job.
The precise details of start date and salary are still to be agreed, but come the new year, I will no longer be the administrator for a small team of consultants. I will be part of a small team of consultants.
I'm unbelievably excited about it. It's something I identified years ago as something that I thought I'd like to do, but had no idea quite how to get there, and now, through a twist of fate, find myself here.
It's going to be challenging. There's going to be a bit of a learning curve and it's going to force me out of my comfort zone a bit, but I'm looking forward to it. It's a chance use the knowledge I've already got - not just from the day job, but from all the stuff I do in my spare time as a basis from which to grow and develop, and more than that, it's a career, not just a job, and that makes such a huge difference.
... and you know what?
I couldn't have planned all this if I'd tried.
Yay! Congratulations, Pix.
I know the year's had its ups and downs, highs and lows, but it looks like 2005 is going to be a bloody interesting year for several of us, doesn't it?
Have to sort out a drink or six at some point around the festering season!
And well done on the photos too - it's a good feeling, isn't it? *hugs*
On a slight tangent (hence different comment) Typekey is saying "the site hasn't signed up for this service" when I log-in through that.
Typekey = More Hassle Than Its Worth.
Hurrah!
Hope to see a happier-yet-still-cynical pix in the New Year...
Bravo bravo bravo.
So happy for you ohh pixelated one.
I learnt the same lesson you have a while ago - sometimes there isn't any point worrying about the plan of the future.
Thanks guys.
On the typekey thing:
For some reason, having checked the enable registration box in the MT config has enabled that bit of bumph up there, which doesn't then get removed when you uncheck it. Which is a bit of a pain, since it was only when I checked it that I found out that for reasons to boring to go into, it won't work on this particular MT setup.
Ho hum.
So, please ignore the typekey login thing til I have time to go through and delete all the extraneous code.
Congratulations several times over.
You've stung me into action. I'm going to get some images scanned and submitted to Alamy myself.
Hurrah for the Pix!
I'm delighted to hear that you got the job! Delighted and excited for you!
Wow. Early mornings?
Yes, early mornings. Y'know, the ones where you have to be awake before 11.59 am? ;)
Congratulations on a fabulous end to the year! I hope 2005 is even better for you. Am especially pleased about the photography, you talented woman, you. Good luck with it :)
Well done, pix! what a fantastically eventful year! Congratulations on all fronts!
Sounds like you have a lot to look forward to in the next twelve months. Good stuff :-)
Top stuff, Pix - good to read you've landed on your feet.
Marvellous news! Congrats on the job, moving forward with the photography - and everything else. :-)
In the words of that great old Gay Saying:
You go, girl!
Many congratulations on all fronts but especially the photography, I've always loved your pictures and now we can maybe start spotting them out in the wider world.
Wow! Congratulations, and onwards, upwards!
Well done you.
I'm glad to hear that things are (by and large) groovy in the world of pixeldiva.
A precedent for the year ahead hopefully!
Take care of yourself.
Fantastic news - long may it continue!
Well done you, sounds like a fantastic end to a bumpy year
... the online home and (not very) alter(ed)-ego of Ann McMeekin, a recently freelance Web Accessibility Consultant.
... passionate about many things, most of which will turn up on this site at some time or other.
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