11 April 2001
It's 2:30 am.
I'm tired.
I want to sleep but I can't, because I spent the entire evening sleeping off a migraine that hasn't quite departed.
I had the migraine because work is getting me down right now. I have what seems like a gazillion and one tasks to accomplish, and I'm doing them all an inch at a time and not actually finishing anything, hence, the satisfaction part of the job isn't being triggered.
I'm also stressing because I have to front up to one of the newest and trendiest hotels near me on Thursday to talk to them about doing their website, which, as if it wasn't stressful enough, is in the wake of them throwing out their current web designers because the site they spent thousands on just wasn't what they asked for. If we get it, it'll be a real coup for the company, and quite a posh feather in my "designer" cap... but I'm really stressing over it.
It's not that I think I can't do the site, because I know I can, and I know that what I'm going to want to do with it is what they're looking for, I'm just less comfortable actually fronting up to them, especially when I'm going to be turning up with a) my ever-present NHS issue elbow-crutch and b) our most designer-label conscious sales person.
I know that how I look and the fact that I have to walk with the aid of a crutch (or occasionally use a wheelchair) shouldn't affect their perception of my ability to do the job, but I've come up against discrimination of that kind too often to entirely discount it. Especially when it's something as important as this.
So I'll be hitting the shops again tomorrow lunchtime in a bid to find a suit jacket that I feel comfortable enough wearing, that fits me, and is not too expensive, in a bid to minimalise the potential appearance fallout.
I fear I'm doomed.
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... the online home and (not very) alter(ed)-ego of Ann McMeekin, a recently freelance Web Accessibility Consultant.
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