19 March 2006
Well 24 hours of resting my voice seems to have been enough to allow Dragon to at least partially understand me again. Well it's at least able to discern words, rather than constantly flashing ??? at me (the software equivalent of a blank look and a shrug).
Anyway, I'm bored of whingeing about this now, and if I'm bored, then you lot must be even more bored, and for that I apologise.
So on to the important topic of today's post.
You are in a room with the three Top Gear presenters - Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond (funny how Dragon gets the name Richard Hammond without any problems whatsoever - maybe we're getting on better than I think...):
Which one would you shag?
Which one would you shoot?
Which one would you marry?
Answers to the usual place (and I want to know your reasons why).
I'm afraid I don't know who James May and Richard Hammmond are, but I'd definitely shoot Jeremy Clarkson.
Because he's a twat.
Well, you'd have to shag Richard Hammond, because he's very cute. You'd marry James May, because he's nice. And you'd shoot Jeremy Clarkson, because it would be a lot of fun. :)
I'd shoot Clarkson, no problem
I'd marry Hammond, to whoever wants him
I'd shag May, when hell freezes over
Don't I get to choose Clarkson's manner of death? What if I miss and go straight for the heart and gets to die without much suffering, I'd be gutted ;-)
I'd shag Hammond because he's the best looking one and doesn't look like he'd put up much of a fight (or be able to).
I'd shoot May in the kneecap because he's a boring sod and I think he could do with some pain to liven up his dull drab life.
I'd marry Clarkson so I could torment him for the rest of his life.
(Gosh, I AM in a nasty mood today)
Beastie said exactly what I was about to say (except my word for Clarkson was a darn site ruder than "twat").
I know I should google their names but if they're in the same sentence as Clarkson then I'm guessing they're something to do with middle-aged, laddish plonkers who drive cars too fast so I'll pass.
But this is a great idea for a meme - pick 3 celebrities in the same field and have your readers decide who to shoot/shag/marry.
*wanders off trying to think one up that involves inflicting pain on Anne Robinson*
I'd shag Richard Hammond... Because he is cute and pocket sized...
And stop there. @:-)
Glad to see you and Dragon are getting on a little better now.
*hugs*
Shag - None
Marry - None
Shoot - Line 'em up, head to head, side by side, and then fire...
With luck, 3-fer-1.
Can I not just shag James and shoot the other 2?
XXX
*splutters*
As I spluttered, my husband pressed play on the remote and on came last weeks Top Gear.. Freaky.
As for the questions. Well, Hammond is cute, but I don't really do cute.. Clarkson is dead, no doubt about it. And May. Well, he reminds me of my ex's Dad. Nuff said.
???
Oh blimey. Does marrying one mean you get to shag them over time? Cos if marry means multiple shaggings of Hammond, then I'd marry Hammond. Which means also that shagging James May is a price worth paying for Killing Clarkson...
Not knowing who two of them are, and not finding Clarkson *quite* irritating enough to kill, I'm leaving that alone. Just wanted to mention that I used to work on a layout package that, quite literally, had the (frequent) error message: "Uh... uh... does not understand..."
Which makes it sound like a much more likable programme than it really was.
I'm afraid I have this weird ability to miss out on vast swathes of human experience... so I've only heard of one of them. Jeremy Clarkson. Who infuriates me. But also intrigues me. And is strangely lovable.
So I'd shag, shoot and marry him, and invite the other two along as witnesses. And then at the reception I'd turn to them both with "Who the hell are you two, anyway?"
I would Shoot Clarkson cause he is a pain in the ass though he is funny.
I would shag Hammond cause he's gorgeous but too short for me to marry.
I would marry May cause I bet he has a fun side and it would be fun finding it, and he can fly a plane.
So come on big Sis! I see you haven't told us your thoughts yet, why the hold up ?
I'm with Lyle I would shoot all three of them.
You couldn't marry them because they ALL sound the same - or rather they all try to sound like Clarkson (well at least Clarkson has an excuse for sounding like Clarkson)
As for shagging - they're all repulsive - Hammond's considered cute but he looks like he's very, very short.
Me?
I'd shoot Clarkson (not fatally, but enough to keep him out of the really fast cars for a bit to give the others a shot).
I'd shag James May because there's something about him that hints at hidden depths, and well, I'd have to find out if he's really as boring as he pretends to be.
I'd marry Hammond because, well, once just wouldn't be enough (and no, I don't mind that he's short, cos I'm not exactly amazonian myself, and anyway, he's nicely pocket size and portable).
Shag: Jeremy Clarkson, just because I think it would be fun. It'd have to be a dark room, though.
Shoot: Richard Hammond. But not to kill. ;o)
Marry: James May. Mmmmm...to shag HIM every night (and the occasional morning) would be awfully nice.
Shoot, with out a doubt clarkson off a cliff into a shark pool!!
shag, May, got a great butt, and likes bikes what more could a girl want...? ok a bag as well!
marry, still May, looks as if I could dominate him!
i'd marry Clakrson and shag the other two, cuz they r all so cute
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