11 July 2001
As I've pointed out in a few other places, I work with a really diverse bunch of people. The mix of nationalities can get really confusing at times and we're all fluent in at least two languages (Buffy speaks four and still doesn't realise that "Fetid Cheese" is a joke)
Besides me sits our resident South African, and the guy is frequently the heart and soul of any pranks going on around here, he does however have the unfortunate affliction of "no shame"
"No shame" is something most Brits will never catch in their lifetime unless they take one too many trips to Ibiza and see television cameras. A strange affliction that causes the victim to blurt out comments such as he did just prior to phoning his girlfriend. Lets call him G.
G: "Bru, I'm so lucky. My girlfriend wants me to get some porn for us to watch together."
D: "Oh... thats nice."
G: "Do you know where I can find some on the web?"
D: "Uh... you shouldn't really be browsing for that sort of stuff online at work."
G: "So? I see you always typing away at stuff that isn't work-related."
D: "That's not quite the same. You'll get fired if they catch you."
G: "So will you, bru. How about sex shops?"
D: "Good point. Well, there's Soho, if you feel like going for a walk."
G: "Cool Bru, I'll go during lunch. I'll show you what I get."
He then procedes to phone up his girlfriend.
G: "Guess what, D suggested a great place to get porn. You up for it?"
I'm sort of flapping away trying to make it clear by hand signals alone that I did not suggest anything. Doesn't work over phonelines though for some reason.
G: "You want to go halfs? Yeah? What sort of stuff? Oh yeah, I like her too... oh, you naughty girl..."
At this point I wedged my earplugs in as firmly as I could and pumped Orbital up as high as I could. He's gone for lunch now... I'm almost scared to be here when he comes back. Call it stuffy, call it prudish, but there is such a thing as too much information and this stomped across those barriers and ran screaming over the hills.
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