Hot time in the City

1 May 2001

Today's turning into a real anti-climax in the city of London. I came into work thinking I'd have to dodge rubber bullets (sunglasses and trench-coat optional) and run through clouds of CS gas and protesters a la start of Akira. But Nooooooooo, instead I cross Oxford Street looking like Chipboard city and walk past pairs of Boobies... uh, I mean Bobbies.

I get to the office and there's a new guy standing guard on the other side of the door. There I am, in my usual office get-up, jeans, trainers, sloppy fleece, messy hair, Red Alert 2 t-shirt with the American flag stripes with the Hammer and Sickle instead of the stars I reckonned could get me out of trouble from both sides of the conflict if I got caught in the middle.

"Look Officer, I love America" "Look Mr Anarchist, I believe that Corporate America has sucked the last hopes of Bolchevism from our daily lives but remains an ideal we hold onto with tenous fingers against the oppressive violence of a fascist culture straight out of Alan Moore's V for Vendetta."

And if that didn't work I'd either boast about my Paris education (to the cops) or swap bomb-making tips with the anarchists (no, no, *three* parts potassium nitrate to *two* parts sugar you spikey-haired knob-nose!)

Now safely in the office I can only imagine something out of Monty Python's Meaning of Life, like the corporate takeover at the start... fending off vegans with my ham sandwich, slashing at anarchists with a post-it pad (hey, those paper-cuts really hurt), throwing tipp-ex bottles with lit tissue fuses instead of petrol bombs and using my Corporate Summer 2000 free frisbie as a Xena Chakram, throwing with expert precision and knocking anarchists and rozzers flying.

To further spoil the fun we've been sent a mail saying we've all to go home before four. Which I suppose means I can go window-shopping this afternoon. Well, I could have if they weren't all boarded up.

Seriously, Nike Town, McDonalds and The Gap I can understand them boarding up their windows, they've had global campaigns run against them for years now and are prime targets... but Sock Shop?

"We need to destabalise the global economy!"

"Loot Sock Shop!"

Oh yeah, I bet they're top of Tyler Durden's list to cancel global debt.

Also, this themeing the day with a Monopoly-style is ludicrous. They'll all be fighting over who gets to use the car. Nobody will want to take the dog cause it's not something big and hard like a Dobberman or Alsation, it's a little Scottie Dog. People will be lucky to get out of Jail just by paying £50, and although there might be Free Parking all over the City today what good is it when you'll be going back to a burnt-out over-turned car that someone's taken a crap on?

So much for Reclaim the Streets. You're welcome to them.

Left comments

Hey I live in America Ann and I like living here

But i hope your ok and didn't get hurt on your way home

mike
1 May 2001

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pixeldiva is...

... the online home and (not very) alter(ed)-ego of Ann McMeekin, a recently freelance Web Accessibility Consultant.

... passionate about many things, most of which will turn up on this site at some time or other.

... contactable via email.

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