2 July 2001
The morning wasn't being kind to me. Already I'd had to suffer countless people at the station, the streets were crawling like a carcass on an ant-hill, I was in a dark mood. The marble pillars of the entranceway to my building towered before me, I tipped a nod to the doorman and headed into the art deco elevators.
As I approached my desk I noticed a skirt, tall with dark skin, rooting around in my desk drawers. She had her back to me and I pondered what to do next. I still had that rough weekend feeling where you shave it all off hoping to come in to work clean and fresh, but it hadn't worked. I felt grizzled like a pack of bears.
"What are you looking for?" I enquired.
The broad jumped back with a start, embarrased at being caught. A few other people had a peek at the commotion but my stare told them to get back to work.
"I was looking for some Advil or something. I've got a headache."
Two lead slugs would do the trick, I mused before sliding back the chair and sitting down. I settled into the chair like the comfortable embrace of an old lover welcoming you back after a prolonged absence. I couldn't be unfaithful to this chair, not even with the armchairs in my appartment.
"I don't have any Advil."
I paused. Was this a ploy? Was she really after something else?
"I do have a couple of Placebos though."
She was American and didn't understand it was a joke.
"Are they just as good?"
"Sure, they'll do the trick," I said, like a cat playing with a spider. Showing the glimmer of hope before covering it over again with the soft pink pad of its paw. How long could I keep this up?
"You don't mind? I'll go and get you some more at lunchtime."
"I've got plenty to spare. Hang on..."
I reached into the side drawer of my desk. My trusty supportive desk. Always willing to take any load I might bestow upon it. It might occasionally have felt the weight of the world on its shoulders, but that was usually solved by dragging the paper recycling bin round to it.
I couldn't find anything suitable inside and instead reached across the desk to the little Zen garden I keep. A funny oriental trinket given to me after solving a case in Chinatown, it was designed to keep my nerves calm, but didn't do the job as well as some things.
Picking two of the three pebbles out of the sand, the black shiny rocks like obsidian rabbit droppings I asked, "Are two going to be enough?"
She wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and hadn't noticed my ruse. I dropped them into her outstreched palm and leaned back into the chair.
"Um..."
Turning to another colleague she decided to verify my claim.
"Are Placebos as good as Advil?" she asked.
The guy was a solid dependable type, we'd worked together a lot in the past and he knew what was going on. A conspirital wink and he replied;
"If you've never had one before, you might be surprised."
That seemed to have done the trick, and I don't think I'll have anyone looking through my desk again anytime soon.
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