I'm going to let you into a big secret.
I'm a big scaredy cat, and I'm scared of failing.
I've wanted to do something fibrey for over a year now, and I've been umming and aahing about it, and talking myself out of it every day, and watching with jealousy as others stood up and took their ideas forward while I came up with excuse after excuse for why I couldn't be among them.
I love my day job - I really do - to know that what I do each day could make a difference to someone's life is something that gives me an immense sense of both purpose and satisfaction, but it's hard sometimes, because that job is more than a job - it's a vocation, and that makes it so very difficult to switch off when I leave the office.
Which is one of the reasons I took up knitting, because I needed something that I could do away from a computer, because I was slowly going mad from not being able to switch off, and while it solved that problem, it also filled holes in me I didn't know I had, and through it, I've found opportunities, enjoyment and friends I'd never have found otherwise, and I absolutely love it.
I get such a buzz out of knowing I can go anywhere in the world - anywhere - and find a yarn shop, and it'll feel like home, because no matter the language barrier, there's a commonality to the experience of being a knitter (or crocheter, or spinner, or felter, or whateverer).
I look back on the first night I went along to Angelknits, to join this knitting group I'd read about, and how I hid in the DVD section in Borders for 20 minutes before I got up the guts to go over and ask to join them and can't believe how scared I was.
Now, after the adrenaline of Saturday has died down, I'm looking back and wondering why I was so terrified of doing this - and I really was - I was literally shaking for the first three hours of the show - from fear, from excitement, from relief when the first person bought fibre from me. I could have hugged her. I actually thought my head would burst open and explode with the emotion - mostly relief - of it all.
I had an amazing day on Saturday. I'm never going to be rich running this little fledgling (for the moment) fibre business of mine, but then I don't need to. I'm running it to support my habit, and because it gives me a indulge even more in the alchemy that is taking the clippings from a sheep and turning it into something else.
I can't thank Nikki enough for sharing her space with me, and giving me the chance that I'd never have taken by myself, and Gerard and Craig for putting together an event where so many people came along and the atmosphere was just right for those of us starting out on this fabulous rollercoaster ride.
I met so many wonderful people and had such a good time that I don't even really mind that I didn't get a chance to shop for myself.
I've got a lot to learn, and a long way to go before I can consider it an overwhelming success, but even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, and now I'm on that road, there's no turning back now.