8 August 2006
In a rare moment of bravery/stupidity, I purchased - approximately six weeks ago - a pair of jeans.
In blue, not black.
Don't all faint at once.
I took them home and tried them on (for shop changing rooms are places of terror, where evil mirrors suck the life and self esteem out of you and replace it with horrifying images of someone else's enormous wobbly arse), and to my amazement, they fitted (mostly, things never fit me at the waist - apparently having a waist is out of fashion), and didn't look entirely hideous.
Delighted, I've taken to wearing them on various occasions, like going out of the house to do stuff.
In this time, I have come to a slow realisation.
If one has to pull the jeans up to hide one's arse cleavage every time one stands up, they're probably a little big (or cut a little low for comfort, time will tell).
If one can put on, and pull off said jeans without undoing the fastenings, it's probably time to buy a new, smaller, pair of jeans.
If one can, in the process of moving quickly (or if one had the energy, jump up and down or run for the bus) feel said jeans begin to remove themselves from one's personage in a downwards fashion, obeying the laws of gravity in preference for the laws of decency, then it's definitely time to buy a new, smaller, pair of jeans.
Which begs the question, how in the holy hell did I manage to lose enough weight to require the purchase of smaller jeans when I've eaten mostly rubbish and spent most of the last two weeks in bed, exhausted and feeling like shit?
What kind of bizarro diet is this, and how can I make money from it?
When you find out how this works, let me know, ok? I'll help you promote the diet and make your first million ;) xx
Search me!!!
Get well soon
XXXXX
Personally, I'd say it's time to buy a belt.
All my jeans are in a size too big for my comfort, so I belt them for decency, and it works just fine. :-)
Mind you, I did look at you last night and think that you had lost weight, so heck, just maybe you have anyway! :-)
I've been told, numerous times, that this low slung jeans thing is The Fashion, and that my constant hauling them up makes me hideously unfashionable. Oh.
Or one could consider a career on a building site? :)
Send diet details asap please!
Sorry to hear you feel crap, I'm still trying to recover from an earlier bout of the lurgy. You need to start building your stamina it's Ally Pally in 2 months time!
... the online home and (not very) alter(ed)-ego of Ann McMeekin, a recently freelance Web Accessibility Consultant.
... passionate about many things, most of which will turn up on this site at some time or other.
... contactable via email.
Design and content copyright 2000-2007 pixeldiva, except where noted.
Copyright of comments remains with the individual author.
All rights reserved.
Left comments