7 August 2006
The good news: blood tests indicate nothing majorly wrong (and by major, I mean immediately life threatening), other than an increase in white cell activity, which is to be expected when recovering from a cold/sinusitis.
The not so good news: all signs point to post-viral fatigue (otherwise known as ME, or if you're particularly cynical, yuppie flu), resulting from my dose of flu earlier in the year.
If I had the energy, I'd laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. On one hand, I have a genetic condition that means I have to maintain a level of fitness and exercise to keep my muscles holding my skeleton together, and on the other, I have a condition that makes me so fatigued that at times I can barely sit upright.
You just couldn't make this shit up.
If I'm honest, having a label for what's been wrong with me for the last six months is actually a good thing, because it means I'm not entirely losing my mind, and I can, to a certain extent, stop pretending that I'm ok when I'm really not, which has been increasingly difficult to do.
The trouble is that there's no quick fix for this. There's no magic course of antibiotics that's going to sweep through my system like a white knight, slaying germs as it goes.
Instead I'm faced with terms like "pacing" and "lifestyle adjustments" and a whole pile of other stuff that just means doing less of what I love doing, like work, and socialising and thinking and stuff.
To say I'm frustrated is an understatement, but the silver lining to this particular black cloud is that by some miracle I seem to have a supportive GP in addition to fabulously supportive work colleagues, which should help make the next couple of months a little less bumpy than they might otherwise have been.
Don't forget we are with you too, all the way
Well, indeed, this is going to be a hard time.
You *can* stop work though (the world is not going to fall apart if you do..) and you will get incapacity benefits.
Homerton Homeopathic Hospital does good work wiht ME sufferers, and there is an Osteopath that has had some sucesses with it as well (I'll see if I can find the links again)... My Mate Stephen is going through teh Mill with ME, so I can empathise.
*hugs* Do you have the energy for Angel Knits tonight?
Mike: Thanks. It's appreciated.
Nikki: I know that theoretically I could stop work (although in reality I don't know that I could afford to), but the thing is that I don't *want* to. I love my job, and it's taken me a long time to get to this stage, and I absolutely flat out refuse to let my health take this away from me.
Thanks for the info though... and as for AK - will see how I feel later.
Hope your ME doesn't last for long...and that you feel better as soon as possible! :)
Pixel, having neglected reading your blog for a while, I have just spent the last hour and 2 cups of coffee catching up.
Firstly, I enjoyed reading and thanks for sharing all of that stuff. Secondly I want to give you a big hug, I think you need it.
My sister has ME, its been a long journey and tho not fully recovered she is so much better than she was.
I know you are a pretty clued up kinda gal and are probably at this moment burrowing through reams of info on the subject, but if you need to share with someone who has been through it or maybe even just some info on where her journey has taken her regarding her treatments and everything else let me know and I will put you in touch with each other, I cant promise on her behalf of course. If she doesnt feel up to it then maybe I can be a conduit. Its just a thought, no pressure but there if you need / want it.
S
Just ran across your blog. I am in a very similar position to yours it seems. I've been sick close to 8 months, with terrible headaches in the back of my head, wicked fatigue, and bouts of nausea. Anyways, it took the doctors 5 months to figure out mono was the reason I got sick, but like yourself I'm very thankful that I'm not going to die. On the other hand the purgatory/hell I'm in is frustrating, I'm stuck living at home with parents, can't do much with my friends, can't work, really can't do much all around.
Anyways, it sounds like you are weathering the storm, and it is great that you are able to be somewhat productive. Best of luck and if you ever want to discuss anything feel free to send me a message.
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