1 August 2006
Time flies, doesn't it?
Seems like only yesterday I was in school, thinking "oh wow, I'll be 24 when we reach the year 2000..." and not even contemplating anything beyond that, and now we're in 2006 and I'm staring down the barrel of the next big birthday milestone.
Yes, that's right, I'm going to be 30 at the end of this month.
30!
It's not that I've been particularly obsessing over this fact (much), but the truth is that I hate birthdays, almost as much as I hate Christmas/New Year and Easter... and not for the reasons you might think. I hate them because they make me think (which I already do way too much of than is strictly healthy) about things like:
... and so it goes on.
On one hand it's a good thing, and it drives me to do better/faster/more, but on the other hand, I've got a tendency to beat myself up because I'm not perfect, or for various entirely justifiable reasons I've not done the million and one things I over-ambitiously decided (in an entirely arbitrary fashion, and mostly in my head only) that I'd do by this particular milestone.
Then there's the whole looking back thing, a veritable can of worms inside a pandoras box wrapped in a riddle and tied with an enigma. What else are birthday's/new years/anniversaries of traumatic life events for if you don't stop and look back and think about what went before/how you changed/whether now is better than then?
All of which is a partial explanation for what I'm going to be doing here for the next 30 days.
Inspired by the absolutely incredible 40 in 40 days series written by Mike Troubled Diva a couple of years back, and continued in style by Anna Little Red Boat last year, with her 28/28 series, I'm going to do something I haven't done in a very long time.
Starting tomorrow, I'm going to write a series of very personal posts, covering some of the major events of my life so far (and some other stuff, whatever springs to mind really).
I feel like I should bold that. Make it stand out. Perhaps in red, with a big WARNING stuck in front of it (to also convey in a non-visual way that it's a warning, of course).
You see, when I started this blog, all those years ago, I wrote lots of really intensely personal stuff. Then I stopped writing personal stuff because a bunch of people I worked with went looking for me on t'internet and found me, and it, and made fun of it, and me, and left shitty comments, which was horrible and made me want to take it all down. Obviously, I didn't... but it had an effect, and gradually, over the years, I've censored myself more and more, and in the process, lost the great outlet and feedback loop that writing a really personal blog/journal originally was.
So, assuming you've read this far, consider yourself warned.
It's going to get personal round here like it hasn't been for a very long time (I have a blog and I'm not afraid to use it!).
I'm going to be talking about stuff that might actually be really depressing (both to me as author and to you as reader). I'm going to be talking about stuff that I'm proud of, which might make me look like an arrogant arse. If you're lucky, there might be the odd splash of funny in there too...
... and here's the most important part:
I'm not going to apologise for any of it. I'm not going to feel guilty that I might be crossing over into "too much information" territory. I'm not going to worry about freaking out or putting off any of the wonderfully diverse groups of people that make up my (small and fabulous(ly exclusive)) readership.
So if you don't like personal stuff and don't want to read it, find another blog to read for the month of August, unsubscribe this site from your newsreader, or simply look away. If you continue reading and don't like it - tough - you've been well warned.
For the avoidance of doubt - comments will be open and unmoderated.
I very much value discussion and free speech and for as long as I can remember, I've done my utmost to only delete spam comments, but do bear in mind that I'm getting personal here, and for all that I value free speech, if any particularly shitty comments are left, I reserve the right to delete them, and if necessary, ban IP addresses.
My gaff, my rules.
My life, in 30 days.
Good rules.
You go for it, your blog is your blog and if other people have a problem with it its there problem. I hope it achieves what you want to get out of it x
I feel exactly like you on birthdays, I haven't celebrated mine in years, in fact I don't normally tell anybody I know in real life (as opposed to Net life) when mine is, for precisely the same reasons you've outlined above... but I do like it when somebody finds out or remembers ;)
I'm looking forward to your August posts, that's really brave of you to do, and of course, you don't have to apologise, it's your blog, your life, if somebody doesn't like it, there's zillions of other sites out there.
PS: Are you coming to AK tonight? Haven't seen you in ages!
xxx
Good for you, poppet.
Emote at will!
Awesome, awesome idea.
And if it works out really well, I might nick it for my 30th next March. ;)
"Incoming!!!!".....
;)
Well, I've been 30 for well over half a year now..and..well...yeah, best not think about it!
I prefer 30 to 29 though...30 has 'definition'...29 is...well, waiting to be 30!
You had me on Time flies.
Feel free to express all you feel and I won't be offended if I end up being slated for all my failings, after all I am human too.
Graham: ...she's doing what with her flies?!!!
Oh... :D
30? Why, you're only a young bairn. Actually, no you're not, 30 is definitely grown-up, like it or not, but I'm 31, so as far as I'm concerned, up to about 35 is still young-ish. Then I'll start moving into 'prime of life' categories, irrespective of the speed of any downhill slides...
You go. Your 'blog is all about being personal.
If it wasn't what would be the point? It's nice to know that you can share.
I'm using mine in the same fashion right now... and it is good to have somewhere to write it down, that I can type, as my handwriting is terrible! LOL
Missed you last night, must catch up, it has been FAR TOO LONG!
*hugs*
Oh, and 30 is nothing...
I had the revelation the other month that I would be 40 in 5 years!
Oh my. Happy to have provided partial inspiration... fire away!
I'm looking forward to the next 30 days...type away.
;-)
Reaching 30 is nothing, going past it, its all down hill from there....
... the online home and (not very) alter(ed)-ego of Ann McMeekin, a recently freelance Web Accessibility Consultant.
... passionate about many things, most of which will turn up on this site at some time or other.
... contactable via email.
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