I'm going back home to Scotland again this weekend.
I was originally supposed to be going there to attend the wedding of the oldest daughter of the family who have lived across the road from us for 20-odd years, and I was really looking forward to that - I haven't seen her for a while, and she's getting married in a really lovely place in Glasgow.
Then events over the last couple of months sort of overtook me. I was threatened with eviction which meant house hunting and moving at a time that I really wouldn't have chosen to move. Obviously, this sort of upheaval means that finances tend to be a little stretched, and it had begun to dawn on me that I probably couldn't afford to go.
This has now been kind of turned on it's head, as a result of my gran being ill, and now I'm faced with a weird weekend of mixed emotions. I'm going to a wedding, which will be a tremendously happy event - asi these things should be, but on the other hand, there is the emotional impact of being back home where so many powerful reminders of my dad are still around, compounded by the knowledge that this weekend may well be the last time I will see my gran alive.
All this is further complicated by the fact that the hospital where my gran is, is currently partially closed due to an outbreak of what they charmingly refer to as the "winter vomiting bug", not to mention her having MRSA. My every instinct is to stay away from the place - but at the same time, I feel that I've got to see her. It's hard to know what to do for the best.
There are so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that at the moment, it's about all I can do to put one foot in front of the other and try and function as normally as I can.
I just can't help but remember the last time I was in the British Midland Business Class Lounge...
In no particular order, things I've meant to write about recently but haven't, for varying reasons:
- D's parents visiting for the weekend
- Wishing that my dad had been able, even just once, to visit me in London, and know that I'm doing ok here.
- Walking, lots. Lots and lots. To and from work most days - unless the weather is really foul or I'm going home via somewhere else. Also, walking at weekends, just because I can. This might not seem like a big thing, but I can assure you that for me, it is.
- Paparazzi in my street.
- Celeb spotting (Jonathon Ross + family in Wagamama in Camden x2, Kyle McLachlan in Camden Market, Ben Kingsley driving in Hampstead, Clive Owen in N1, actors from Casualty and Goodness Gracious Me whose names I can't remember).
- The sneaky old granny who skipped the queue by about 10 people in Kings Cross station, even when told to wait in line by at least five people who jumped in a cab in front of me, and then had the cheek to wave as the cab drew away.
- Being told cats like me because I'm so big.
- My sister being a Mrs now and how weird that is for me.
- Going back to Archway to go for a curry.
- Spending the day dragging Mike Tremoulet round Camden Market, then having a carpet picnic later while watching Eddie Izzard on video.
- Boiler troubles and plumbing problems.
- Being scottish with a scottish bank account and living in London and associated fun.
- How not to hold a cigar.
- My Gran contracting MRSA and the winter vomiting bug on top of having a blood clot in her leg, and just generally being in a serious condition in hospital.
- Going to see the Vagina Monologues twice.
- Being witness to a "This is your life" moment, complete with Michael Aspel and Big Red Book.
- What not to do when your partner is in the shower and isn't aware of your presence in the bathroom.
- The etiquette of coming home blind drunk (with or without additional people who are also the worse for wear).
- Shoes: Comfort vs Fashion
Just one or two things, really.
Not much.
Life's quiet right now.
Kinda sorta maybe not.
[sigh]
There's just something a bit sad about naming a server "shibboleth" and spelling it wrong.
I'm not sure why it is that I feel little or no impulse to blog when I'm at home and have access to fast internet connection, but as soon as I go anyplace and have the laptop and mobile out I feel a real urge to brag, uh, blog.
So anyway, I'm currently just leaving Peterborough station on the 13:05 service to Leeds, where I will then catch a train to the lovely town of Harrogate, which is to be my home away from home until Sunday morning, while I indulge in a weekend of debauched geekery.
Geeks, computers, alcohol and food (not necessarily in that order). Ahhhh... bliss.
... the online home and (not very) alter(ed)-ego of Ann McMeekin, a recently freelance Web Accessibility Consultant.
... passionate about many things, most of which will turn up on this site at some time or other.
... contactable via email.
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