19 January 2006
Sometimes there just aren't enough swearwords.
Amen!
Cuntbucket!
Fucking cunty buggery bollock-brained shitweaseal arse-knocking twadging chutney fuggler.
AKA Lyle's Rule #2 : When there aren't enough proper words (sweary or not) make up some as you go along. The human (Or Lyleian) brain is a wonderful thing when it comes to adding words to the sweary lexicons.
Toss-ferrets!
Cunt. Fuck. Arse. Shit. Wank. Wanking cunty fucking bolocky arse-buggering shitey toss-pottingly vadge-mugering fucking poo-wrenching flappy bollocks!
are you sure?
When traditional swear words run out, it is important to develop new ones. Anything can be a swear word if said with sufficient venom.
P.s. what's wrong?
??? *hugs*
Does this help?
http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus/profan_index.php
(I can't access from work, but I'm guessing it will yield nice swear words! ;-) )
I've got some you can borrow if you want.
Roger Melly says, "Cunt on a brick!" ;-)
Funny. My first reaction (before reading the SHOCKING language in yer comments) was to wonder if everything was OK.
But having now read the comments I have only this to say: WANKFUCK!! (invented by my belovedly foul-mouthed wife).
Now, hugs if you need them, an ear if you need that. Hope a good outburst of vitriol is all that's required to make you feel better.
It's at times like these you need to learn a new language. Complete with all its own profanities.
To second Jono, I'll break with habit and actually swear in French safe in the knowledge you won't see the embarrassement at doing so from the other side of the screen:
Putain de bordel de merde à la con!
Some fucker, fucked the fucking fucker and now the fucking fucker is fucked !
Porca puttana (if you find that you want to branch out into Italian).
You alright? xxx
Just recently, I've been rather enjoying the freedom and power of anti-swearing. Botheration is my word of choice right now.
Fuckity Fuck helps make it go further ;)
1) Mandatory swearing bit.
Bugger. Bugger frig. Bugger frig bollocks. Arse.
2) Politicians as swear words.
Best to date still has to be "oh, Tebb it". Although "that's a load of Archers" is pretty good do.
3) there, there (pat on shoulder in slightly patronising manner).
Oh, I almost forgot...
If you're stuck for inspiration, might I proffer this?
And if you get turned on by the cast of the O.C. turning the air blue, this should make your day!
I liked the one in Four Weddings and a Funeral - fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck
Hope all is okay with you and the searching for more expressive swear words doesn't denote anything too serious!
Funnily enough, having read the comments, I started to try to think about unusual and amusing swear words but the first thing that popped into my mind was one day when my mam (when me and my brothers were only knee high to a grasshopper) was frying sausages. One of them popped and she got a sudden shock in the form of a hot fat explosion or should I say explosion of hot fat, in her face. It was the spontaneity of her cursing that made it more amusing than the words themselves. Imagine kids waiting patiently for sausages and, all of a sudden, mam leaps about six foot in the air, shouting in broad northern dialect, "OOHYA BUGGER BASTARD!!!!" We nearly fell off our chairs laughing. Fortunately, the hot fat didn't do any permanent damage and she saw the funny side of it, too.
Hope all's well!
poo bum dicky dicky wee wee
Pleasingly euphonious and satisfyingly rhythmic...
wanklerotaryengine!
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